dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
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They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
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I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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