eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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