what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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