You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
