found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
