Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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