Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
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she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
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I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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