Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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