This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
