Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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