you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
