I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
