Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
