Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
