You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So. Much. Porn.
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