please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
