Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
