just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
