i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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