so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
