i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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