Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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