are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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