I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
