Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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