You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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