3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
