um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
