you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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