I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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