New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
