Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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