Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
