And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
