The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
