I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
