If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
