AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
