I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
