Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
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I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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