I heard we made out
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
