Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
50% drunk capacity currently
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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