He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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