how do flat chested girls get laid?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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