I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
