Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
