let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
