Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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