but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
