Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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