Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize