no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
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How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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