Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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