I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
