check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
