You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
