He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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