Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
