what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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