How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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