You're completely useless in the revolution.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
